The Walls Are Blank, It's Like They're Talking To Me

Sometimes i really wonder who my true friends are.. I just can't stand it.. My mom says that i expect too much out of my friends and maybe that's true, but when i think about it, if i expected any less of them, they wouldn't be a 'friend' anymore.. What can i say? I have expectations, but so does everyone else. Mine aren't very high, maybe i'm just too annoying for people to stand. But i'm not sure. Sure I can be annoying, sure i can be stupid, sure i can be a little slow, but does that make it right for people to hate me? Yeah i don't try that hard to impress people, cause seriously.. why bother, but that seriously can't be it. I've always had such a hard time making friends. i can't make good or close friends at all, not even one. What's up with that? Do i smell? Do i offend? Is it cause i don't like talking about stupid make up and i'd much rather talk about the world and it's issues and beauty? Sigh.. I'm kind of just sulking right now.. this is gonna be a stupid stupid entry lol..

I can't help but wonder if i'm depressed. I get sad quite a lot and sometimes it's so high at a point that i can't stand it or anything.. Even if i was, what could i do? I'm not that strong, i try to act like it, but i'm not. I can be strong for others and help them along, but is someone gonna be strong for me? Can i be strong for myself? It feels like there is a heavy weight on a huge hole inside of me and the weight won't crush the hole so it's hard to breathe. It gives me a headache, and makes me sick occasionally. Blah....

I'm not that depressed i guess cause i'm not sad constantly, but the thought of no friends really depresses me sometimes. I constantly want to cry.. why? I'm constantly hungry, or want to move, why?

Thank Goodness there is music in the world.. I love the Rocket Summer for helping me not be depressed. It seems a bit silly to have a band/artist keep me from being so sad, but it really works for me. Maybe that's why i listen to him constantly eh?

Sigh.. Sigh.. Another sigh.. Bigger sigh..

I'm just depressed, why can't i make friends, not excited for high school it will suck cause i've got no friendsssss, my family idk.. gah.. :(

That's about all i want to type..