just random

i was just thinking about friendships that i've had, and honestly i feel like they just don't work out a lot of the time. they come and go, they really do. why do they do that though? why is it that most people don't want to keep up friendships they've had?

i was also thinking that i kind of wish my dad was here. then instead of always just looking at my mom and thinking about how i want to be, i'd have another example of my blood.. and see where i come from. maybe i'd get a different perspective. he wasn't able to see my high school years, nothing. apparently he was awkward in high school too. or junior high. or elementary. but i wouldn't know, no one ever wants to talk about it. wish i knew, then i could get an idea of where else i'm coming from. i can't imagine not having people to talk to about my family and figuring out my roots. how would one go about learning who they are without them?

how can we ever be sure about anything? making decisions in life i have realized is really up to you and wow.. it's a weight. i can't believe that i have the option of basically doing whatever i want now. no restrictions. unless i put them there, which i do.

do we really attract what we are? because if that's the case, i'm a loser for sure. guys are just really hard to deal with.

attitude! passion! things we strive for, yet they make me so.. mad sometimes.

love everything. keep moving forward!

done.